Day 5.4 Not the Homecoming I’d Been Dreaming Of

My husband got me settled into  the car.

He tried to dry my tears and convince me that all will be well.

He started the short drive home.

We rode in silence. When he pulled into our driveway I suddenly felt as if I was in a foreign place.

I was home, but there was no joy in being there. The house felt so cold and empty.

But, I have to give my husband much credit. He was home alone for a total of 12 weeks, and our home was spotless. Not only did he keep the house clean but he also re-tiled the bathroom.

He was very excited to show me his handiwork. His masterpiece: the twin’s bedroom. He had painted the room, assembled the furniture and installed new shelving in the closet. He was proud of his work and wanted to share it with me.

I entered the room with bated breath. Everything looked so pretty. The last time I has seen this room, it was a spare bedroom complete with a dresser, full-sized bed, two night stands and treadmill. Now it was a sweet bedroom waiting for its tiny occupants.

It was truly hard to believe that this room would be filled with babies! OUR babies! We just didn’t know when.

My mom had washed the linens and put sheets on the mattresses. My husband displayed some of the little trinkets, stuffed animals and figurines that we had received as gifts around the room. It was really quite lovely.

We started unpacking my bags from the hospital and sorting some of my stuff. I was rifling through the stack of papers that the hospital sent home. The documents included my discharge papers from 3 different hospital admissions, information packets about caring for your preemie babies and breast-feeding, and booklets about the dangers of RSV respiratory syncytial virus and lots of other papers. Then I came across a small envelope that did not look familiar. I opened it, gasped and covered my mouth. My husband heard my whimper and came to check on me.

I was crying (again, no big surprise) and handed him the contents of the envelope. It was two pictures. One of each of our babies.

I was not expecting these pictures. There was a note in the envelope from one of the NICU nurses offering words of encouragement intended to raise my spirits.

Little Miss

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Little Mister

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I missed them so much.

Lesson Learned: “A picture is worth a thousand words.” A picture of your children is priceless…and can leave you speechless.

2 comments on “Day 5.4 Not the Homecoming I’d Been Dreaming Of

  1. Luciana Carneiro says:

    As a 48h mum of a 31w preemie boy, who also had a drain on his chest inserted on day 2, it’s with lots of love and emotions that I read your posts. Feeling as if they were my own. You’re very brave to share your story and I am really praying that your bundle of joy and my son can thrive through.

    • I hope that your little man is doing well. I am writing this blog in retrospect. Thankfully, while we did have a few close calls and setbacks along the way, I have to say that my Little Mister is now 10 years old and doing very well. The bravery and courage moms of preemies gain is passed through our miracle babies who weather so much and end up teaching us about courage, bravery, strength and determination to survive and thrive. So while I thank you for your support, I must say thank you to my children who have helped shaped me into the mom I am today. Thank you for stopping, reading and commenting. I invite you email me if you ever need to talk. Please feel free to follow my blog.

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